CWW Week 22 - Day 1 - Breaking The Chain

Scripture.

Exodus 34:7 (NKJV). 

“keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.”

This passage reflects the idea that while God is merciful and forgiving, He also holds individuals accountable for their actions. The “visiting” of iniquity refers to the consequences of sin impacting future generations, which can be understood as the natural repercussions of sin affecting the lives of descendants. This verse highlights both the justice and the mercy of God in His dealings with humanity.

It’s been an interesting few weeks centred around a recurring theme. In the healing work we have been doing since 2007, we have had much to do with the restoration of broken lives.

In this we have worked out that several central themes seem to play out in the brokenness that comes our way. One of the most prominent, is the damage done by fathers in bringing up their children. This past couple of weeks has hi lighted this yet again.

Bev, [not her real name] told us that just before he died, her father told her that he was disappointed with her. I think they were likely the last words he ever said to her. That’s like pulling the pin out of a hand grenade and passing it to your child as you run out of the room. Imagine the lasting effect that could have on someone where that becomes the underlying theme for the rest of their lives? I am a disappointment!

Todays verse is critical to put into perspective. God understands that the ramifications of a life of sin can send ripples through the pond for generation after generation. If we go back to a previous theme where we looked at how we model marriage, manhood and parenting to our children, it becomes clear how these defects of character can be handed on to our kids like a virus.

Let’s take a look at Bev’s father in this light. More than likely he felt the same vibe from his own father and the sub conscious bottom line belief he held for his entire life was that he would never amount to anything. His hopes and dreams for himself may well have been transferred to Bev to make good on his behalf. He piled on the expectations to Bev and more than likely never expressed them in any other than a critical appraisal of her life when it didn’t go the way that he wanted.

Did he provide a steady hand in her upbringing or did he hand her a poisoned chalice from his own upbringing. At the end of the day Bev has to make a decision. Is she going to set a course for the remainder of her life based on flawed information coming from a broken man? Or is she going to break the chain and lean into God’s perception of who she is? It’s not hard for us to see which is the most reliable.

Lets look at Stan [not his real name]. His father was a high academic achiever who carried his success as an academic with a profound arrogance and a hard and brutal heart. Stan was a very bright boy and has grown into a skilful professional capable of helping so many people . Highly skilled he is a very busy man who appears on the surface to be almost frantic, even obsessive perhaps. 

Stans’ internal mechanisms are operating at full speed in what seems like an intensity driven by an incredible force. Totally rejected by his father for making different choices and perhaps not achieving to his fathers expectations, Stan seems to cram all manner of effort into the toil of proving himself against the beliefs his father forced fed him into.

Both Stan and Bev are at the crossroads to their future. It’s time to break the cycle of false expectations set by parents who never managed to measure up for themselves.

Clearly we could apply the same scenario to their parents parents as we go back to primeval slime as one generation infects the next.

We must seek a new assessment criteria for our lives based on grace, mercy and compassion, with the only expectation being an ongoing effort for us to develop our character.

Jesus is the remedy. Only He knows our hearts and what we are truly capable of. He holds the blueprint of our lives and He has journeyed with our fathers and our fathers fathers and understands the reasons these things have played out as they have.

Our Dad’s may not have broken the chain and they must face the inevitable consequences unless they repent, but now it’s our turn to hold the bolt cutters. We can only remedy the downward effects of our upbringing by taking the face of our fathers off the face of God.

In so doing we can live into His glory knowing that He made us in His image and being guaranteed that He does not make junk.

Is it time to rethink our relationships with our parents?

Ultimately this only happens when we forgive them based on the fact that they were doing the best they could, because they knew no better. We need to journey back though their past and ask ourselves. “Would we have done any better if we were handed their lives?

My favourite bible verse, my life verse, is Revelation 21:7 and I paraphrase. “For he who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I shall be his Father and he shall be My son.” Always brings a tear to my eye.

Questions.

1. Are you tired of living into others expectations for your life?
2. Does your earthly father still hold the remote control of your future?
3. Is it time now as adults to see our fathers more as brothers on this journey and look to God as our real and reliable father?

Prayer.

Dear Lord, Papa God.

Thanks you Papa for the promise of Revelation 21:7. My greatest desire is to have You as my my Father and to hold the honour and joy of being Your son. Thank you Lord that regardless of my sin that You still hold me as a righteous person because of my love and faith in You and Yours for me. Please forgive my earthy father Papa and help me to do the same. For this is my prayer in your precious name. Amen.

Have  great day with Jesus.

Graham Hood.