CWW Week 22 – Day 7 – Breaking The Chain

Todays Theme.

Breaking the chain of conflict.

Scripture

Romans 12:18 (NKJV):

 “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Way back in the garden of Eden before the first sin, there was no conflict. There was no butting of heads or clashes of the mind. It was God, the first couple and all of creation just living in harmony.

Before sin, life was always about conversation and not conflict. The thought is so intoxicating that I just want to stop right here and live in this moment. Alas no…The serpent had other ideas.

I talked the other day about the absurdity of life that has the biggest life choices laid at our feet when we are too immature to deal with them, like marriage.

If only we…… oh don’t even go there.

Dear friends of ours have raised a beautiful family through the perils of the consequences of day to day life. One issue seems to follow close on to the next. Both parents coming to God from the triumph of overcoming hurts, hang ups and habits as one child came after the other to swell the family to five children.

Then a successful business fails and they just manage to avoid bankruptsy, the father is diagnosed with cancer that is healed, a beloved son declares gender identity issues and is just loved regardless, and then a beloved daughter contracts leukaemia.

Throughout it all they just remain calm, pray and get on with living all the while maintaining a home with an open door for others down on their luck. We have watched on at ground level as they navigate what looks like a life of extreme chaos with a grace that can only come through their faith in a God who listens.

He always answers their prayers in one way or another and they rarely question His methods. They just move on knowing that He loves them and what ever happens is for their growth.

But as I move from a grounds eye view of their crazy life and look at it from tree top level, a beautiful pattern emerges.

What looks like a chaotic ill thought out landscape on the ground takes on another beauty when seen from a different vantage point.

It’s just beautiful. Yes I am describing a scene from the movie “The Shack”, but it all seems to just work.

So what’s this got to do with breaking the chain of conflict?

Everything I have just described is working for God’s benefit because the chain of events I have described would drive most families into heart breaking conflict.

Yes they fear the consequences of what each drama presents to them, but then they give it to God and shrug their shoulders, pray and just get on with life.

Are their clashes in this family? You bet their is, but grudges have no safe harbour in their midst as they give all the issues to God. It’s the Christian walk personified in the chaos of life. It’s almost perfect, warts and all.

Father and son clashes are becoming fewer and the head butting of two strong and stubborn women in the mother daughter relationship, while sometimes energetic, still settles in the grace that only a strong faith can bring.

So how does it all seem to work?

This family is a living breathing example of our strength lying in our vulnerability. They have learned not to lean on their own understanding and walk in a calm confidence that God is truly in control and what doesn’t kill them only makes them stronger.

They are far from perfect but they don’t pretend to be perfect.

The mother daughter relationship stands out at the moment as their daughter deals with a recent leukaemia diagnosis. Incredible adjustments have to be made by the entire family as they all come to terms with the enormity of what has just been discovered. There are times when tensions run high especially between mother and daughter as the motherly instincts clash with the independence of a young headstrong girl becoming a woman and mother herself.

This has the potential to leave one wounded and cowering as the other becomes arrogant and head strong, but no. The mothers strength of faith and the confidence that goes with it is bolstered by grace and determination not to give satan an inch. She takes it on the chin but keeps loving.

I have seen my own wife Michelle deal with life in exactly the same way. Is it any wonder that she and our friend call each other sisters?

Michelle has had family dramas that would wilt most people but her stoicism in God keeps a smile on her face.

They both have a “Oh well you get that” kind of approach that cools down the conflict. Both exhibit a triage approach to lifestyle disasters where their own emotions will be dealt with later because we don’t have time for that now, theres a job to be done.

There are times when my mate and I lick our wounds and just get out of the way, but you know what? We wouldn’t have it any other way. We are men twice blessed.

Self pity is a destructive force that disempowers whole families as pride and indifference are allowed to fester into conflict and breakdown. This only happens if we let it. It’s love, mercy and grace that stands as a fortress against such character defects and it was always God’s original plan that this was never meant to be about conflict as much as it was about conversation.

I am loving the strength that comes only from God, that has taught me to love my enemies and pray for them. There is no offensive weapon that can defeat it.

We break the chain of conflict when we choose an attitude of grace in confidence. Not in our own understanding but in God’s infinite wisdom.

It takes two sides to make a conflict. As our scripture for today says. “Where it is possible.” That possibility can only arise when we arise in Christ above the turmoil and walk in His strength with grace.

All we have to do is just keep loving in the strength that Jesus gives us.

All it takes to win the tug of war is for one side just to let go and let God.

Questions.

1. Is there conflict in your family life?
2. How does that lack of resolution in your life hold you back?
3. What can you decide to do today to start that reconciliation process?

Prayer.

Dear Lord, Papa God.

Families can be toxic, more so now than ever as the world becomes more self centred. Papa keep my heart in your strength and guard it from hardening against those I love. Help me to stand against the attacks of the enemy and grow my character with compassion. In Jesus name.

Amen.

Have a great day with Jesus today. Especially you Victoria.

Graham Hood.